99 Things I Love

1. The smell of a campfire.
2. Killing a mosquito before it actually gets to bite me.
3. Pulling out a white hair on my first try instead of the normal one right next to it.
4. Hearing the vacuum pick up all the crinkly bits of scum and such.
5. Hiking somewhere so secluded that I can’t hear the cars anymore.
6. Watching the moon “set”.
7. Everything bagels.
8. Talking about something I’m passionate about and seeing others nod in agreement.
9. Making people laugh.
10. The click of a gun into a holster (or on it’s way out).
11. British humor.
12. Smiling at a dog and then having it smile back at me.
13. Sweating profusely during a workout.
14. Adult vitamin gummies.
15. Those chilly days where the sun is warm so you can wear shorts and a hoodie.
16. Going out to play in the snow at midnight when it’s coming down nicely and it’s bright enough in the moonlight to not need a single streetlight.
17. The first shock of dipping my toes in cold water at a creek or lake or river or ocean.
18. Figuring out how to DIY something instead of paying for it.
19. The sourest beers, ciders, and kombuchas known to man.
20. My friends who are always always there for me.
21. My friends who totally get me and know how to toe the line between loving and hating life.
22. My family.
23. Sharing embarrassing stories with friends and belly laughing.
24. Having friends I can give shit to who dish it right back to me.
25. Exercising pain-free.
26. Easily running a trail that was tough a few weeks ago.
27. Realizing that I have yet another layer of emotional health to grow into, every time I think that I’ve “figured it out”.
28. A paperback mystery book on faded paper with very old-fashioned font.
29. Luckily reading a book before I watch the movie. NOT the other way around.
30. Pigs in a blanket. The food, I mean.
31. When the coffee grounds bubble during their bloom.
32. Shooting a “hole-in-one” during target practice.
33. People who tell perfect stories. Not too fast, not too slow.
34. Comedian banter on podcasts.
35. Baseball caps, since my mom told me I look good in them.
36. Shorts with good pockets.
37. ALSO, GYM SHORTS with pockets.
38. Finding a pair of pants that fit so well that I bought 3 more (in different colors, of course).
39. Wearing funky socks for game days (not smell-wise, but the patterns).
40. The red rocks in Utah.
41. Having foot veins show up after doing a bunch of foot exercises.
42. Finding sunglasses that actually fit my extremely large head.
43. Doing things by myself and feeling completely at ease.
44. Floating around in a pool doing absolutely nothing for hours.
45. Tossing a ball around/having a catch.
46. Wondering if the things that make me happy are also the things I love. Does love lead to happiness? (No). Does happiness equate to love? (It depends).
47. Going back and editing sentences to flow perfectly.
48. Having conversations with people about personal growth and just knowing that I’ve found my people.
49. Myself. (Why did it take me so long to write this?)
50. The sounds of Harry Potter.
51. The feeling of knowing I have to go up a size in pants or shirts because I’m getting jacked.
52. The feeling when jeans I purchased a little less than a year ago that sagged slightly in the butt fit perfectly now.
53. Eating enough and knowing that I’m taking care of myself.
54. Reading a book poolside.
55. Fall days of wearing hoodies and shorts.
56. When I make eye contact with a stranger and we mutually smile at each other at the same time and it’s not weird.
57. Beards.
58. Rainbow pens.
59. Making/wearing friendship bracelets and silly bands.
60. When you smack a fly perfectly with a shoe.
61. Gritting my teeth through a cold shower.
62. Going underwater at the beach or pool and just for a second everything is alright in the world.
63. Feeling completely secure even when people give me weird looks or question me.
64. Getting the smell out of shoes which means I got the bacteria out yay! (I have a lot of tips. Hit me up).
65. Going grocery shopping while hungry and not buying anything extra.
66. Sunshine.
67. Throwing things. Not balls. Rocks and such.
68. Catching a new line I’ve never heard before on a TV show and wanting to SCREAM with laughter at the absolute HITTER of a line.
69. Theo Von. If love is happiness, then that’s what I mean, I’m not that creepy. His brain just makes me laugh but also wonder why I can’t be just as creative.
70. It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia — I’m from outside of the city but there is something within me that so heavily identifies with the characters and their ridiculous adventures.
71. Colorful sunglasses. Lately my selection has been rather grey, so I plan to spice things up a little.
72. The good nail polish. Not that I would know because I’m too cheap to get my nails done but it’s fine.
73. Taking care of my by eating enough and sleeping enough! Seems like it should be a normal simple thing but it’s not! It can be really hard sometimes!
74. When your teardrop quad muscle starts showing up.
75. Any body of water. Lake, pool, ocean, river, creek. Think Bane , but with water— “you merely adopted the dark…I was born in it, molded by it”. Ignore the fact that I was terrified of water until about age 9, shh, it is FINE.
76. How the high will be 80 one day next week and it’s October. Why didn’t I move here sooner?
77. Thinking about the future and NOT thinking about the things I will miss out on, and only thinking positive thoughts.
78. Trying to do my own research before I ask someone else to do it for me. This is potentially directed at some people. Including myself, don’t worry.
79. Driving with the windows down when it’s still warm because I have a black car with black leather seats (do not suggest) but there’s a slight chill in the air.
80. Catching myself after I trip. I’ve mostly gotten good at this because I’ve had so much practice.
81. The smell of wooden buildings. I know, weird, but it’s not a common thing anymore. Includes the camp I went to for 11 years as a kid, any cabin or wooden beach house, and my university’s basketball gym. Ahh.
82. Pittsburgh.
83. Lemonade sugar-free Vitamin Water.
84. Homemade oven-baked potato chips.
85. When you correctly choose the pumpkin pie and don’t mistake the sweet potato pie for the pumpkin pie.
86. Putting on long socks when it’s cold at night and feeling all snuggly because it’s like a hug for your calves and it’s wonderful.
87. Finding pants that fit. Squatober will kill my chances of this happening but that’s okay.
88. Wearing shorts. That’s all I want all the time in life.
89. Finding songs I can sing along to that are in my voice range because it’s really hard because I’m really weird. Dashboard Confessional is one of the few bands that work for me…
90. Finally coming to terms with being the occasional Dwight Schrute, Garry Gurgich, and Hufflepuff of everything. Super dorky, super clumsy.
91. Completing nonogram puzzles because all the free crossword puzzle apps are too easy and the newspaper crossword puzzles are too hard.
92. The rare times I manage to make my workout outfits match.
93. Dreaming about finding ammo at pre-COVID prices.
94. Being brave enough to actually put my stickers on things. What a RUSH.
95. Wearing ugly shirts or weird outfits ironically and meeting people who understand what you’re doing.
96. Texas Roadhouse bread + butter.
97. Garlic bread.
98. Opening up a brand new bag of coffee and finding the greasiest, shiniest, loveliest beans.
99. Being done with thinking of things I love because I realized how hard it is and am now wondering if I am dead inside but thankfully, very deep down, knowing I am okay.

It’s taken me about two weeks to figure all of this out. It’s just one of those periods in my life where it’s really hard to think about the things I love or the things that make me happy. It’s where seeing my phone usage numbers doesn’t shock me anymore. It’s where I worry everyday about everything I can possibly worry about.

I know it won’t last forever. I know that these things will pass, and I will be better, stronger, smarter, faster afterwards. I know it’ll be okay. And at the end of the day, I’m the only person who needs to believe it. So it’s important to think about the things you love and why you love them because it reminds you that life is worth living and that you do truly have a purpose.