Okay, I know I said I wasn’t going to skip any prompts, but I was asked about things I’m grateful for and positive things about my life. It’s not that I don’t feel blessed, but I don’t know, I like to reserve those for more special days, and I like to keep those things to myself. I’ve been attempting to write that in a journal with a sparkly gel pen because that’s so fun, but I think I only got 2 days in so I should definitely do that more.

Anyway. I feel like my posts are often somewhat negative…


It’s so important to have one. Even if it’s just the age-old phrase that I love and hate, “it depends”. Because it always depends, but I also feel like you need to be able to give somewhat of a straight answer, knowing full well that there is going to be nuance. Other clinicians will hopefully latch onto that nuance, and with your patients you’ll just need to explain that a little bit more. That tangent aside, having a rehab philosophy gives you a framework to start with so you’re not scrambling and struggling.

There are a few things that I…


These are going to be very hard to dig out…but I’ll try to come up with a few. I guess it’s similar to yesterday’s prompt of “what do I need to let go of?” I obviously need to let go of these limiting beliefs!

First — that my natural trait of anxiety/worrying is an embarrassing, disgusting part of myself. Second, that I absolutely need to change all of that immediately. Third, that I can’t change any of that. I think it’s best to admit that I have this trait and it doesn’t make me a bad or broken person, know…


First, control.

This is my number one problem. I think being in control is good. Being in control of yourself, for example. But needing to control everything around you all the time is never good. This time I will say it’s never good, because you can’t truly control everything around you. The universe just does not work that way! And you set yourself up for failure if you expect to be able to control everything.

I think I have been doing a better job, but I also know that what I’m currently doing work-wise is not going to last much…


A lot of times I think to myself “I need less of ____”. Lately it’s been mindless TV/instagram scrolling at the same time (I’ve been stuck in this habit for a few years now and I dislike it), but I haven’t really asked myself what I need MORE of.

  • More time spent just listening to music which = more time spent with my thoughts. It seems like I am scared to be without background voices, whether in TV or podcast form. …

Sometimes just thinking about getting out of my comfort zone gives me the heebie jeebies! Ok, I more so just wanted to use that term because I highly doubt I’ll ever be able to again, but I’m not the bravest kid out there.

  1. Writing something that I don’t really want to but I know will help me process things and ideas and life. I know that it’s important for me to write, even if I feel like there’s nothing in my brain. There are actually about 800 things running through my mind all at once, picking the right stuff to…

I never speak much about achieving a dream. I tend to use the word goal. Not that I’m absurdly pragmatic or anything, but a dream seems so far away and illogical. And sometimes impossible. It seems so far away, in fact, that it seems unwise to even try. Perhaps I don’t call them dreams because of that fear. Perhaps it seems easier to stay away and “stay grounded”.

I was recently reminded that I moved across the country by myself to basically start a new life and figure things out. It’s definitely been tough. I left a place that felt…


The first cannot stand true without the second.

I know words matter. Now, I am guilty of downplaying how much words matter when other people react to words they don’t like, but then reacting dramatically to hearing things I don’t like. I am imperfect when it comes to all of this, but we seriously can’t continue this way anymore.

If words matter, then we have to understand that everyone is learning which words matter. We all start somewhere, so demanding immediate and perfect perfection is unfair and ridiculous. It also can lead to self-destructive tendencies because you end up with countless words & topics that immediately infuriate you…


I’ve recently become a strength coach. Though, how does one become one? I feel like it’s mostly through experience, so maybe I’m not there yet. I’m there by name and job title, but I’m so aware of the people who have paved the way for strength and conditioning in athletics and I know that I have much to learn. It is an incredibly scientific, thoughtful, and detail-oriented, and I really like that it’s not always about the outcome, but the journey as well. …


Frankly, I don’t give a damn. I understand that having a concrete “new beginning” is really helpful for some people, and as much as concrete-ness really help me to process things, this feels different for some reason. It feels limiting to see it as a new start when I’ve realized that every day I wake up is a new start.

I mean, duh. That’s so obvious. But the pandemic, the seemingly endless months that I sat on my couch just waiting for life to make sense again…what was I waiting for? Why did I waste so much time? I have…

Jen Xu

Athletic trainer, coffee lover, looking for a hobby I don’t have time for. I write about fitness, mental health, being Asian-American, and personal growth.

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