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In my daily stoic journal, I was asked — am I doing work that matters? There’s a morning & night section in this journal for each day. I thought for awhile that it was dumb, but I see the use now. You can feel very differently in the morning and the nighttime. In the morning I might feel more hopeful, or more dreadful, it really depends. And then at night I feel more realistic, or sadder or happier because something I experienced either confirmed my biases or changed my mind. But this morning I wrote some interesting things.

I talked…


I’ve had this blog for almost…6 years now and I think I’ve spent a good amount of time writing things about myself that may have appeared self-deprecating, or maybe they actually were. But I’ve been really, really tough on myself and I’m finally starting to turn the corner. I mean, I’ll still be hard on myself, but I’m more gracious towards myself than I’ve ever been, because I’m finally figuring myself out. I think, at least. I’m finally understanding what I like and don’t like, the type of friends I want to have, and the environments I want to be…


Also could be titled, “Why I love stand up comedians”.

I’ve been really diving into stand-up comedy lately. It helps that I am finding people around me who actually know comedians, and comedy, and know how to laugh at stuff — that’s really important to me. But I think the best part is that these comedians tell you it’s okay to be different and weird…to be yourself. They are literally making money off of being themselves and it’s incredible to watch.

I mean, it’s always been “okay” to be yourself, but it’s nice to have reminders sometimes. People don’t explicitly tell you not to do be yourself (though if they…


I think about Friends, when they all give back their keys and close that purple door with the frame on it and the camera zooms out. How I Met Your Mother, when Ted & Robin are finally together and…that’s that. The Office, when they slowly zoom out on the building to sad music and it’s just…all over. Or when you’re watching the E! Network and there’s a commercial signaling the end of Keeping Up with the Kardashians. Ahh yes, all the brilliant shows…the ends of eras.

Well, also on Friends when Rachel is moving out of the apartment and tells…


I’m most likely going to do this incorrectly. I just wrote 15 reminders to myself (I’m writing this paragraph after the fact). Maybe “affirmations” is much too specific & general all at the same time. I always think of it as someone looking themselves in the mirror & saying “you are worthy & loved”, and it doesn’t really do much for me. I’m not sure why — could it be that I don’t actually believe it, or that I completely believe it & I don’t need such reminders? But it’s such a general topic that I could say just about…


I love knowing that tomorrow, I get to wake up and crack jokes and make people laugh, even if they’re laughing at me, not with me. I love that I get a chance to smile, a chance to giggle, a chance to belly laugh at something crazy. I love that every time I can choose how to react, I can choose to react positively. I love that I always have a choice!

I love knowing that I can build these great relationships with athletes that show them how much I care, and show them how important it is to take…


Okay, I know I said I wasn’t going to skip any prompts, but I was asked about things I’m grateful for and positive things about my life. It’s not that I don’t feel blessed, but I don’t know, I like to reserve those for more special days, and I like to keep those things to myself. I’ve been attempting to write that in a journal with a sparkly gel pen because that’s so fun, but I think I only got 2 days in so I should definitely do that more.

Anyway. I feel like my posts are often somewhat negative…


It’s so important to have one. Even if it’s just the age-old phrase that I love and hate, “it depends”. Because it always depends, but I also feel like you need to be able to give somewhat of a straight answer, knowing full well that there is going to be nuance. Other clinicians will hopefully latch onto that nuance, and with your patients you’ll just need to explain that a little bit more. That tangent aside, having a rehab philosophy gives you a framework to start with so you’re not scrambling and struggling.

There are a few things that I…


These are going to be very hard to dig out…but I’ll try to come up with a few. I guess it’s similar to yesterday’s prompt of “what do I need to let go of?” I obviously need to let go of these limiting beliefs!

First — that my natural trait of anxiety/worrying is an embarrassing, disgusting part of myself. Second, that I absolutely need to change all of that immediately. Third, that I can’t change any of that. I think it’s best to admit that I have this trait and it doesn’t make me a bad or broken person, know…


First, control.

This is my number one problem. I think being in control is good. Being in control of yourself, for example. But needing to control everything around you all the time is never good. This time I will say it’s never good, because you can’t truly control everything around you. The universe just does not work that way! And you set yourself up for failure if you expect to be able to control everything.

I think I have been doing a better job, but I also know that what I’m currently doing work-wise is not going to last much…

Jen Xu

Athletic trainer, coffee lover, looking for a hobby I don’t have time for. I write about fitness, mental health, being Asian-American, and personal growth.

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