On Burnout: it’s very real and it sucks, let’s talk about it.

Burnout is: Tears. Fears. Second-guessing. Anger. Frustration. Confusion. Exhaustion. Physical soreness. Not going to sleep until you’re exhausted because it’s easier than laying there for hours just wondering why you’re not good enough. Worrying about thing 2 during thing 1 and worrying about thing 3 during thing 2 and worrying about thing 1 and 2 during thing 3 and your head just goes and goes…and goes. There is no end.

It feels: impossible to get away from. The end. The past, present and future. It feels like forever.

Ok, but beyond the dramatic stuff that’s fun to write— burnout comes from giving so much of yourself but not being able to give enough to yourself. It can be from long hours, for sure, but I think it’s what we are asked to do in those hours. One: having too much on your mind and having to do so many things that you can only think about what’s next, and that’s really difficult. It can be from being asked to provide care but not being given enough time to provide such care, so you can only half-ass it when you want to whole-ass it. It can just be from caring so much about other people that every encounter takes a little away from you. It is true, every one of us has a servant’s heart. But it doesn’t mean we don’t need to care about ourselves.

So overall there are feelings of guilt, confusion, worry, frustration, sadness…and when that eats away at you, you start to wonder what you’re even doing here and I think that is the truth about…