I’m leaving Atlanta in 11 days…moving, again. I hit my head a few days ago and am having concussive symptoms (perhaps I am fearful of stating the actual words “I have a concussion”, but…it might be time to do that). I’m dealing with being on the waitlist for a class that I really want, but I didn’t know about registration for classes until a few days in. I’m coming to terms with the fact that so much is going to change in just a few weeks, and I’m feeling very scattered and confused.
I called my best friend & explained to him everything that’s been going on. I again had this urge to fix all of my problems immediately, which I know I’ve written about a lot, but I guess it’s my natural instinct. Anyway, the best way I’ve handled it in the past is to just…wrestle with the thoughts for much longer than I should, then eventually come down from it. But I’ve never had a good technique to employ each time I run into this type of situation. My friend recognized what was happening and asked me a few questions that I suppose I should outline below in hopes that I remember for next time.
- Are you okay right now?
- Are you going to be okay?
- Is it the end of the world?
- Are you going to find a solution?
These questions are all very important to me for various reasons. Asking if I’m okay right now brings me back and calms me down. Asking if I’m going to be okay is tougher, because the only person who can tell you it’s going to be okay is yourself, but I’ve grown increasingly confident in my personal skills and I can trust myself. Asking if it’s the end of the world matters for me because I tend to catastrophize situations (“if I can’t get into this class, I’ll be blamed for it, I’ll look like a terrible student”), so it’s important to remind myself that very rarely, if ever, is anything the end of the world. Asking if I’m going to find a solution is almost like a challenge to myself — I’ve always come through for myself, and so has the universe.
I struggle the most with control. In these types of situations where I don’t really have control, I tend to lose sight of the fact that I still have choices. I can choose to panic and fret in order to feel some type of control, or… I can choose to ground myself in the moment, bring myself back to reality, and come up with solutions — even if they’re not immediate. There are even some situations that just don’t have solutions aside from waiting, like a concussion — so this is one of the toughest situations for me. In fact, doing less for some time post-concussion is going to be the right choice for me, which is difficult, because I’m a doer.
So this doesn’t apply to every situation. But it applies to a lot. I haven’t encountered too many difficult situations recently, just because I’m not working right now, but I know how important it is to practice things like this for the moments that I feel like I am drowning. Hopefully I can take this lesson with me as I adjust to a new state…again, a new job, and an entirely new set of expectations.
