So I’m one of those people who is really wary about trying new music, movies, shows, or podcasts because I’m horrified at the time I’d waste if it’s bad. Even for a 3–4 minute song. I have to ask myself if I’m willing to give up even one minute of my time and be okay if it’s a waste? The majority of podcasts I’ve been listening to are by comedians, and they’ve been great in helping me de-stress and appreciate a form of art that I feel like I can understand. It just feels right. But on my long road trip recently, I picked a podcast about sports performance with a guest speaker I really admire, and I actually loved every minute of it! I really just needed to hear a voice and think about things in order to stay awake, but it really taught me a lot about myself.
First, I learned that my attention span is god-awful. I think I’m still distracted with my emotions of moving and driving, but with comedy podcasts it’s pretty easy to unfocus and jump right back into things. I mean, if you zone out for 10 seconds on a sport science topic, then you’re screwed! So that’s something to work on. I think these last few months of pandemic have allowed me to push aside my emotions of leaving home, and sort of just hangout, watch TV, and attempt to live a normal life. And it was fine if I didn’t pay attention, I’d often be on my phone and watching TV at the same time. Which I know is just one of the worst things you can do for yourself. And I’m a terrible multitasker so I really just need to focus on doing one thing really well at a time.
I also learned that I do need to challenge myself to try things even if I’m scared I won’t like them. I mean, I worry about not liking things as I’m doing things or listening to them. I even worry about the things I like ending as I’m doing them instead of enjoying them. It’s very…backwards. I mean, of course growth requires you to do the things you don’t always like — this I do know, but I don’t necessarily always choose it because it is usually the tougher decision. This is a new perspective, but it’s almost a lot easier to push myself to do things I already know I don’t like, because at least I already know what to expect. So maybe it’s the fear of the unknown?
This is bigger than making yourself go through something you don’t like, but that you need (like pushing yourself to get up the hill as you hike and not stopping halfway up). It is the complete unknown. You have no clue of the end result or the process, which is the most horrifying part to me. See, I like to know exact things. I like to have the GPS up to know exactly where to turn, not just look at the mile marker — I don’t wanna drive into a lake like Michael Scott did! I must have order…but I know that I have to challenge myself to dive into the unknown for my own good. And I’m not just talking podcasts anymore.
I think it’s interesting to categorize things as: things we like, things we don’t like, and things we’re unsure if we’ll like or not — but instead of automatically assuming that the unknown is something we don’t like, we need to be open to the idea that there is a chance for it to be wonderful. That leap of faith in the universe is definitely one of the hardest things ever, but I’ve spent quite a bit of time lately not doing much at all so yeah, I can probably spare some time to learn new stuff. And even if I don’t know the process, I guess working through the trepidation of the unknown is part of it. So if you’re hoping to know the unknown…well, that’s quite unfortunate, but isn’t that just part of the fun?
