You ever learn something and you’re like, okay, cool, I’ve learned it, I’m good, I never need to approach it again? I’m talking soft skills/experience-related lessons, I guess, not necessarily book stuff — but then your world gets shattered a bit later once you realize you either forgot it, or it goes deeper than it appears?
I’m not one to shy away from challenges, but my issue is that I need the challenges to be perfect. I need them to come at a time when I’m not stressed, I need to have time to respond, etc. Except…life does not work that way. Quite often, challenges come when you least expect them, when it’s least convenient, and it tends to be really tough to swallow. And it’s not fun but that’s not a good enough reason to run from it.
Recently it’s come to my attention that I haven’t been challenging myself enough lately, in things like communication/relating to other people, my rehabilitation skills, and cleaning things up at work without being asked to. I’ve become comfortable with the fact that I follow a lot of athletic trainers, physical therapists and general movement-based fitness people on instagram, and I thought, hey, that’s enough. I’m pretty good at what I do. I then had a discussion with my supervisor and he opened my eyes to the fact that I need to be doing things differently to be my most effective.
It was a very hard pill to digest. It hurt me for a good bit, I couldn’t process it, so I burst into tears because I felt like I had already been criticized for a previous item at work (what I wrote about in my previous story, about caring for people and recognizing how to do it differently for different people). It was not comfortable to hear him say that I need to do better in various ways. Of course, he wasn’t trying to hurt me. But I hadn’t been pushed in awhile, so I just completely ignored the fact that I could be learning and implementing new things. I filed it away for later, so when it sprung back in my face, I panicked.
And that, friends, is what being pushed out of your comfort zone looks like. An important aspect that I always overlook is that when you are thrust out of the comfort zone, or when you know it’s coming, ask for advice or help. Of course, it’s hard to ask about things you don’t know you’ll need to ask about (this makes sense, right?), but I think it all just comes with experience. I wish I had remembered that — I know I have communication issues with females just because I tend to do things a little bit differently (a half-assed knock on myself, btw), and I know I struggled working with a female team 4 years ago. Perhaps knowing that, I could have prepared and asked about it. The only discussion I had with my supervisor was acknowledging that I had trouble with it, and that I’d work on it, but there was no concrete route taken, and that is something I most dreadfully need.
I was in a hard spot when I was introduced to working with this new team in January— school was hard, and so was research, and I dreaded waking up and going to work everyday. I’m not making excuses, but I know I was in a tough spot, and I know I let it get to me and impede my growth. I am doing everything I can this summer to avoid letting this happen — reminding myself everyday I chose to go to school/work here, I chose a tough research project, and taking things day by day. I am going to start working with a therapist, enjoy my summer, and continue to challenge myself and enjoy the process of being in grad school and learning a ton.
Leaving the comfort zone isn’t fun, but I find that the more you expose yourself to it, the easier it gets. It’s still scary every time, and it can still hurt a lot, but you’ll open yourself up to so many more possibilities and it will be wonderful to see how much you can grow. Considering I’ll be having 2 games a week (occasionally being away for 5 days in a row), trying to conduct research for 20–30 hours a week…I’ll need a lot of help and I’ll need to be open to challenges and difficulties occurring. Deep breaths.
