I pride myself on being eager to learn and grow and be better — and on being honest enough to admit that I’m not perfect at that. I struggled with feeling like I had good role models in undergrad, but the truth is, my supervisors were wonderful, and I was the one who held back. Even if we didn’t connect on every single thing, I learned so much. Role models come into your life for various reasons, and that’s why they’re all so different. And they don’t always stay, but the lessons they teach you do.
I wanted to talk about lessons I learned about pursuing, having, and holding (potentially) a mentorship with a role model.
- Having a mentor is more than just having someone show up in your life. You have to actually show up. You have to actively pursue the relationship. Granted, not every pair is meant to be. Sometimes you’re stuck with it, so you get through it, and maybe you learn something just from having to do that. But it needs to be pursued from both sides — maybe it’s a weekly meeting to discuss progress and what to work on like I did.
- Communication styles are so important. They’re all so different. I know mine. I know that my mind is emotional, so the things I want to receive from other people are the opposite — logic, sense, balance. Most of all, honesty upon honesty. I know what I need, but it’s also just as important to figure out what your mentor needs — it’s even more important to ask.
- Having a mentor/role model is more than having someone to ask for ideas. You can also be friendly, friends if it makes sense, and in fact — you should be. Don’t be that person who instantly asks “hey, can I get help on this?” before you ask them how their day is, or treat them like a real human, not a robot. Am I speaking from personal experience? Perhaps. I’ve spent a long time wondering why I often feel like an outsider in the workplace (granted, I may not be, I just feel that way). But — it’s me, it’s my own fault. I forgot how to treat people like people, and instead got so invested in my own head that I could not realize their needs. It goes both ways.
- Your mentor…has a mentor. Just remember that they have been in your shoes. And remember that on some days, they are still in your shoes. So they will make mistakes, and when they can admit that — that means something huge. But be patient with them. Because you can sure as hell bet they will need a lot of patience to deal with you.
- It should be easy, in the sense that you want to talk with them. But it should be hard, in terms of the things you experience. You will be knocked down and beat up and broken down (by words, don’t worry), but you’ll prevail because you’ll have wonderful people supporting you. So it will be really great, and also really awful at the same exact time.
- Every thing you learn about having a mentor…remember it when you become a mentor. That’s step 1…and then all the steps after that. When I get there, I’ll write about being a mentor. And boy, I can’t wait for that day.
It’s been ages since I’ve written. But as I’m moving onto my next chapter in life and leaving a lot of really great things that I don’t want to leave… I have to start thinking about which direction I want to go (don’t worry — I’ve got a job and the next big city I have to take on!). I know that it’s never too late to start, but…things are very odd right now and I feel like I am grasping at my mental health. I just know when I move onto my first big girl job, I will need to consider all of these things up here. I’ve met quite a few wonderful athletic trainers (on Twitter, no less, it’s actually been wonderful) who have been really helpful and I plan to continue building relationships with them.
I want everyone to be able to see the value in pursuing mentorships. After you get done with school, and even during school, it’s a massive way to further your education and grow emotionally and mentally. This kind of stuff cannot be replicated in any other way. So go forth, pursue, and grow.
