On solving your problems as they come…

…and not causing yourself unnecessary problems by trying to pre-solve a problem that isn’t guaranteed to happen.

Not that it’s guaranteed that a problem won’t happen. But if a problem were to happen, it’s all by chance, even if it feels like the universe is just trying to crush you all at once.

I ran into this type of situation today because I spent about 45 minutes trying to figure out how to print in the one building I was in on campus. I was determined to find it because the website told me there was a printer! And it had to be the self-serve printing for students. So I wandered around, poked printers that were meant for faculty/staff — then I found the self-serve printer but couldn’t get it to work. Basically, I have to print documents to get my car/license moved to Virginia for my appointment tomorrow. One time in Utah I tried to get my license and the lady at the DMV told me I needed one paper proof of residency, while my friend got hers no problem, without paper proof. So, you never know what’s going to happen and I didn’t want to run into that issue again.

I like to print stuff a few days early because I always think, what if a printer breaks? Because I’ve played that game too many times and been sorely disappointed! But I’ve also been fine printing stuff day of more than not. I just tend to forget the good moments and focus on the bad, and focus on the fact that the bad is likely to happen — even if that’s not true, because I just feel like something bad will happen, but feelings are not facts.

Now that I’m in some stats-heavy education, I’ve been learning a lot about probability. I’ve realized you can’t really do the math to calculate the probability of a bad thing happening. For the most part. For things like this, anyway, where technological failures just happen sometimes. Now, if you have a really old piece of technology that’s been failing you more and more as time goes on…that’s different. But ideally, printers for students will work more days than not (I can’t even prove that statement but for the sake of my sanity, let’s just pretend that statement is true).

I told myself that I wanted to figure out the printing situation because I wasn’t going to let it beat me. Granted, I did find the printer, it just happened to not work and I didn’t know how to fix it. But I was out of luck. So, I started using my self-awareness as a tool (a phrase I picked up from my previous therapist and I like that phrase and mindset) and realized that I was stressing myself out trying to solve this problem that potentially didn’t need solving. We have a printer in our lab, and there is no reason to assume that it wouldn’t work. So, I left because I realized that I was trying to solve this problem of a potential broken printer tomorrow before knowing if it was going to happen. Also, maybe somewhere along the way I realized that I wasn’t going to be able to change the situation, so I left the situation. I’ve been practicing letting go of control, so that was fun to think about.

I do this goofy thing where I imagine all possible scenarios, then I spend some effort trying to make sure those scenarios don’t happen, or I come up with contingency plans for if those scenarios happen. That means I’m wasting time, energy, and even some of my sanity. Then, there are 2 possible options: if the bad thing happens, then I feel this horrid sense of vindication that I was right, oh god, why do bad things happen to me, but I’m glad I spent time doing this. Then, if the bad thing doesn’t happen, I’m almost kind of bitter that the thing I planned for didn’t happen. It’s a silly way to live life and I am TIRED of it!

So here is a challenge for myself for the rest of this semester and really, my entire life: Stop ruminating on all the possibilities that will happen and trying to solve them. Stop trying to control everything and plan every single moment. Stop worrying. Start focusing on the moment. Start letting your experience & knowledge dictate your decisions. Start solving your problems as they come…instead of rushing to problems that might not even happen.