“Tails” from a Reactive Dog Mom

Jen Xu
7 min readOct 19, 2024

Just kidding, I know it’s spelled “tales”, but that’s a good pun! Also, the title has a double meaning. Most people would just be like “oh, your dog is reactive, got it”. What happens when the dog mom is also reactive? Ha! My anxiety from having a “poorly behaved dog” seems to get in the way. I twitch a little when I hear keys jingle, even if I’m not with my dog, in case it is a dog collar/leash jingling. I’m always looking around on walks, looking for escape routes in case I see a dog. And the worst part is? Sometimes I forget to see my dog for who she really is. A dog who really means well and really is one of the sweetest dogs, but is scared and unconfident and doesn’t know what to do when she sees other dogs.

My happy happy girl — Raven

I am around her reactivity so much that I sometimes forget how other people see her. And I forget just how much progress she’s made. She’s just a sweet, unassuming, really beautiful dog who likes to sniff the grass and look at squirrels. Sometimes all I see is her lunging and barking at other dogs, and then I feel the wave of shame of not being a good enough dog mom. I feel guilt for scaring people (she is a large dog who looks like Sirius Black when he transforms), I feel embarrassment that they’re judging me for not being a good dog mom. I feel stupid. I feel judged. I always yell “sorry!” while I’m dragging her away.

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Jen Xu
Jen Xu

Written by Jen Xu

Athletic trainer, PhD student, coffee lover. I write about fitness, mental health, being Asian-American, and personal growth.

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