Things I Want To Teach People About Being Asian in America:

Disclaimer: I say all of this out of love and understanding that we’re all human, we’re all trying our best. Seriously. I may be annoyed about some things, but I’m going to talk about the things that people seem to simply be unaware of! Also, these are things that directly affect me. Maybe you can agree with some, maybe you’ll be able to have a real conversation with me if you disagree on any…react the way you’re going to react. And then maybe you’ll think of a few on your own.

1. Asians can be Americans. If you mean to say white people, then say white people or Caucasians, or whatever. There are some who only want to be called Asian (or they are literally just not American and that’s totally fine). Some only want to be called Asian-American. Some only want to be called Americans. But the main idea is that this is very much possible because this is exactly what I am! I am both, but I am 100% of both, not 50% of each.
2. Ethnicity is the country of origin that your family is from. Or perhaps multiple countries of origin, obviously that happens.
3. Nationality is where you declare your citizenship. By pure definition, these two terms are not interchangeable. I’m not saying to never mix them up…I’m asking you what your intention is in asking these questions.
4. If you want to know where I’m from (although it’s most times very irrelevant, especially when it comes from a stranger I’ll never see again. I mean, why…I guess curiosity is a good thing but sometimes it’s just weird!), don’t ask me “where I’m from”. Don’t ask me “what are you?” Because I’m a human being and I am also from Pennsylvania. Simply ask me what my ethnicity is. Yes, I know some people will think I’m overreacting. And I don’t expect people to absolutely stick to this, that’s silly. But I feel like their intentions and understanding of being Asian is very…confused. I really just want people to understand that I’m from the States, I’m proud to be American (most times), and that I’m more than just “here”.
5. Not every Asian person is the same. First of all, there are 48 Asian countries. Second of all, you could be a fifth-generation Asian-American, you could be an international student, you could be anything in between or outside of these things. Some Asian people don’t like being Asian. Some Asian people love it. They get to decide for themselves (although I always hope to see the latter!), and you may be able to spread their story, but you don’t get to decide that for them.
6. Having Asian friends does not make you an expert! It just makes you an expert on your friends. Heck, being Asian yourself doesn’t make you an expert. I’m still learning everyday about how to choose my battles wisely, how to stop looking at some things as a battle, and that each person’s experience is going to be slightly different and that’s totally okay.
7. I. Am. Not. Here. For. You. Especially as an Asian female…I’m not here for you to make jokes about, I’m not here to be fetishized. I’m here to do my job, to have fun, to be myself.
8. Just because some Asian people you’ve met are ok with some jokes or things you say, it doesn’t mean every Asian person you meet in the future will also be that way! Being human means we’re all different in even the smallest of ways, and our responses to things are variable. I mean, sure, try it out if you want, but what precisely, might I ask, is the point?

The main idea is, yes — we’re actually all very different, but I feel like we all have one recurring theme: feeling like we are seen as “others”. Sometimes it feels like we’re not seen for who we truly are on the inside or as humans, but seen as…hey, you’re Asian. And of course, my personality and everything that is ME is so tightly knit with the fact that I’m Asian, so when someone understands that, it’s truly amazing and comforting and wonderful.

When I watched Crazy Rich Asians, I found myself crying at the weirdest moments. It wasn’t even like anything sad was going on. I just found it so powerful that I was in a theater full of non-Asians, who laughed along with the funny parts, who were sad during the sad parts, who just viewed it all as normal. I felt like I was normal, and that was more powerful than any affirmation I could receive from myself.

People ask me all the time why this stuff matters. I don’t know if I can ever explain it in words. It matters because it allows us to be seen. It allows us to pursue things without fear that we won’t be accepted or understood (granted, being understood isn’t ever a guarantee, but it certainly is a nice feeling). People should be able to pursue amazing things in life, and people should want to do those things.

So, yes, these are things I aim to educate people on as I move through in life. I’m sure I’ll learn more as I go on, but I just want to educate people on the “otherness” that matters, such as our culture and our amazing histories.