What are some of my limiting beliefs that might be holding me back?
These are going to be very hard to dig out…but I’ll try to come up with a few. I guess it’s similar to yesterday’s prompt of “what do I need to let go of?” I obviously need to let go of these limiting beliefs!
First — that my natural trait of anxiety/worrying is an embarrassing, disgusting part of myself. Second, that I absolutely need to change all of that immediately. Third, that I can’t change any of that. I think it’s best to admit that I have this trait and it doesn’t make me a bad or broken person, know that I want to change things for my sake (and others), and know that it’s possible to change this about myself if I want it enough. It definitely makes me self-conscious, but I’ve reached a healthier point in my life where I know it’s better to admit the truth than try and shove it deep down.
Here’s another one — that I’ll “never find love” if I have to move around a lot for my career. I know that a small part of the reason I want to be a program director or instructor & researcher in the future is that I want a better work-life balance because I want a family. Anyway, this fear or belief could turn out to be true, but instead of living in fear, I might just need to trust the universe that’s always up to something. I have to have faith that even though my story so far doesn’t really sound like anyone else I know — it’s my story, and it will work out somehow!
That I don’t deserve anything that I worked for — some things you contribute to the “universe”, like I said above, but some things you get because you put in the hours and the effort. The amount of literal sweat and tears I poured into my research project (technically no blood, but I did cut myself on the pool deck), the time I spent writing and listening and learning — I suppose I’ll never know exactly what contributed to my acceptance into such a wonderful PhD program, but I would imagine that played a part! The grey area between hard work and sheer luck is one of the hardest grey areas for me to figure out, so I need to do a better job of finding balance there in my own life so that I can be more realistic.
That if I have a good day with food and don’t feel bloated, that I can do whatever I want food-wise the next day. I mean look, no one is telling me what I can or cannot eat, but with the goals that I have in mind, it’s just not something I want to be doing. Plus, it doesn’t feel good. I ate an entire box of Kraft mac & cheese, and then ate a large amount of potato chips — thankfully I don’t have a sweet tooth, but I almost always have a craving for chips, and it doesn’t really feel good after or the next day. So I think that this belief is bad for me both physically and mentally and it’s definitely not doing me any favors.
That I need to think of more limiting beliefs! This may be on me for starting to write these things at 11pm every night, but I need to focus more on quality over quantity in almost every part of my life. I think these are currently the biggest things on my mind, the things that are currently affecting me the most. Another prompt tomorrow, and potentially — at an earlier time in the day!
