Jen Xu
4 min readJan 13, 2020

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Write about staying quiet when you feel like shouting.

There is nothing more deafening than the sound of silence. It’s at its worst when you want to let the world know that you’ve been wronged but you can’t quite do it without being completely unreasonable…and your head is pounding, your ears feel hot, your neck feels prickly. You grit your teeth, you clamp your mouth shut and don’t let anything escape, not even your tongue to moisten your dry lips. It feels like an eternity, and it takes every ounce of energy within you to just stay quiet.

My first instinct was to discuss being wronged, not because I think it happens to me any more than others (besides by the universe for my apparent lack of poise and grace), but because I inherently operate by a very rigid set of rules. I often see things in black and white so something is either right or wrong. So when people operate by a different set of rules and it starts to affect me, I can become very indignant and frustrated. And worse yet, when others don’t seem to understand exactly what my intentions are, I am infuriated.

No one likes being misunderstood. It’s not easy to just sit and tolerate that, no matter how patient you are. I think it takes a big person to just know that what you’re doing is correct and sit with it. Of course, there’s plenty of merit to considering someone else’s opinion because there’s always a chance you might be wrong…but that aside, there is a decent amount of discomfort that comes with feeling misunderstood.

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Jen Xu
Jen Xu

Written by Jen Xu

Athletic trainer, PhD student, coffee lover. I write about fitness, mental health, being Asian-American, and personal growth.