“Write about why you write”.

I don’t call myself a writer, but I like to share the things I write because even if no one reads them, I get to present my emotions and thoughts “to other people” and that helps me understand myself more. I was talking to someone the other day about how we’re both very logical and always analyze our emotions, and try to “logic” them out. But at the very same time, we’re both very emotional. Which might seem like an insane dichotomy to some (and I still wrestle with it), because how does that work?

I struggled with “being emotional” for so long, I was told it was a bad thing I had to fix. It was like no one even thought I could be logical or sensible because of my emotions. Which may be true during an emotional time, but afterwards — I try to solve it with logic. And that really doesn’t do anything for me because I recognize it, then…I don’t really do anything with it, I just carry around what happened and what I did in my head. That gets to be a lot after awhile.

Yesterday someone asked me what my tattoo meant. I have a set of feathers on my right side. I honestly have no idea why I chose to get two. It was just an idea I had. But when I got it 5 years ago, I got it to remind myself to try and be “weightless” — I thought of the song I listened to as a teenager, Weightless by All Time Low.

I wanna be laughed at, laughed with, just because
I wanna feel weightless and that should be enough
But I’m stuck in this fucking rut